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May is tipped to be the worst ever month to host a dinner party with more than six guests, that’s according to the Australian Bureau Of Statistics.
Researchers say with only a fortnight to go until the 2019 Federal Election, it is not worth taking risks on hosting a mid-to-large-sized dinner party.
“There’s no guarantees it won’t become pointlessly political” said lead ABS researcher, professor Lote Meninga.
As the report indicates, the chances of hosting a lone Liberal voter in an all leftie crowd is a catastrophic risk, especially if said guest is a silverfox small-business boomer who believes political correctness is the reason his kids don’t talk to him.
Another winter dinner party risk is the possibility of having a One Nation supporter sitting next to someone even slightly browner than Greek, with researchers delivering a stern warning about the likelihood of the non-white guest being complimented for “not being like the others”.
However, as Professor Meninga points out, the greatest danger in hosting a large pre-election dinner party comes with the uninvited inclusion of a giant untamed brumbie destroying the living room with Greens party policy.
“This exact thing happened in the affluent suburb of Betoota Grove last weekend. It’s very common around this time of the year”
“A giant high horse will completely fuck up your night” says the professor.
“They are most likely to arrive with an uninvited Greens Voter, and they will buck and buck until everything is destroyed.”
