7 May, 2015. 17:30
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
NEW SOUTH WALES hinge-voter MP Fred Nile is proposing new laws that would raise the legal drinking age, ban Islamic dress and force women who are thinking about terminating a problem pregnancy witness what they’re about to remove on an ultrasound.
The Christian Democratic Party (CDP) leader is planning to put the legislation before the NSW Upper House this week.
That’s not all.
In leaked internal documents obtained by The Advocate, the impassioned leader has revealed plans to “secure” his bible belt stronghold – by sealing The Hills District off from the rest of modern society.
Details of the proposed Nile Protectorate. SOURCE: Google Maps
Mr Nile has outlined that modern society poses the biggest threat to Christianity in contemporary Australia and has decided himself that creating a walled protectorate within Sydney is the only course of action that will safeguard morals.
Following a recent trip to the Middle East, the right-leaning octogenarian was inspired by the ingenuity and religious devotion he witnessed in Israel – leading Nile to propose “walling his people in” to protect them from Muslims, homosexuals, abortions, China, libertarianism and other disgusting by-products of modern society.
The first of many proposed measures will be the construction of a “military style” checkpoint on the M2 Motorway to screen vehicles entering Christian settlements in order to search for any forbidden material.
It’s understood that homosexuals and Muslims will be turned away at the border and asked to take the long way around using the M4 and Great Western Highway.
In addition to this first measure, any non-Christians currently residing within Mr Nile’s citadel will be detained and forced into “non-believer” ghettos – where they will be processed and their fate decided by an evangelical faith healer.
The faith healer will be personally ordained by Mr Nile and given executive power under the party guidelines.
Also earmarked for change in the manner in which media is consumed within Nile’s strongholds, whereby all news, current affairs, sport and commercial programming will be first screened by a Christian censor.
What this means is that advertising geared toward one or more of the seven deadly sins will not be shown in the Hills District, under these proposed measures.
Gambling, alcohol, food, sex and politically motivated advertising will be banned.
Despite numerous rumours, the proposed Christian Democratic Auxiliary Christian Police (CDACP) will not be armed with automatic weapons but rather semi-automatic, as these weapons are still legal to own and operate provided you have an appropriate reason.
Such reasons that currently exist under law for private ownership of a centrefire semi-automatic weapon include roo shooting and use during a religious ceremony.
As Fred Nile has the balance of power vote in the NSW parliament, he’s like to get his way with these proposed measures – include the right to bare arms against, of which he plans to introduce in the coming weeks.
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I assume Skippy Scipione, Bairdy and Scotto Morrison will have automatic boom gate entry; no unseemly delays getting to Hillsong for a good clappy session.
Gee, I like the big wall idea, keeping all those Parramatta people out. They’re all going to hell anyway, so who cares. However……. now I don’t want to spoil Fiddling Freddie’s Party but god fearing, hand clapping, Hallelujah Mike Baird is going to join The Hills local government area with the Hawkesbury Council. This will be the biggest, in terms of area, local government area in NSW. Sounds great doesn’t it. Well not really for the Republic of God.
The boundaries are national parks and god only knows who will get in through them; greenies, dope smoking freaks and the like. Then there are the Colo Heights residents: (you call them “residents” for the same reason you call a Comanchero bikie in a pub “sir”) and if Fiddling Freddie wants to take his rubbish up to them then he may well need his made up god to help him.
Hope he tries though, would be great to see.