CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

Former Senator Nick Xenophon has today been filmed smashing up several pokie machines in an Adelaide hotel, after reading recent poll data that shows him as the number one favourite to take out the South Australian election.

Despite the fact that he had previously been in the Australian Senate for nine years and won a record vote of 24.9 per cent in South Australia at the 2013 Federal Election, it is believed that Senator Nick Xenophon has now secured enough support stated-wide to begin implementing his lifelong plan to rid South Australia of pokie machines.

The Independent from South Australia and the leader of the Nick Xenophon Team has for a long time claimed that he just wants to tackle the issues facing everyday South Australians, and after building on a successfully career in politics off the back of a strong anti-gambling platform – it appears the ‘Hilltop Hood’ has pulled the trigger on his ultimate dream of blatantly smashing pokie machines in plain sight.

“This is what it was all about,” Mr Xenophon told media while loitering out front of another RSL before it opened at 07:30 am this morning.

“I’ve waited three decades for this. I am the King of South Australia”

“My party is also expected to win by landslide. I’m not saying that I am God… but I am saying that I would make a very powerful enemy.

“The moment this RSL opens up I’m going to be bussin’ some glass inside,” he said before breaking in a stirring accapella rendition of The Whitlam’s 1999 classic ‘Blow Up The Pokies’.

While police and political opponents debate whether or not Mr Xenophon’s new ‘smash-a-slot’ program is legal – many of his supporters around the country have followed suit.

“I’ve been wantin’ to do this for twenty fuckin’ years” said local Happy Valley resident, Bryan Quirk.

“These fuckin’ things have taken everything from me. I’m glad there is finally a politician who supports smashing the fuck outta ’em”




  1. I knew nothing about team Xenophon before reading this article, but by God: if that’s really his plan, I regret that I was not able to vote for him.


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