LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
With the first cloud of steam of the election season rising to the surface, shadow infrastructure minister Anthony ‘Ablo’ Albanese visited St Brigid’s Catholic Church in Marrickville, to ask Father Erick for forgiveness for what he is about to do to his party leader, Bill Shorten.
Witnesses report seeing Albanese enter the church for confession at approximately 11 am Friday morning at which all churchgoers were ushered outside by members of the Member for Grayndler’s entourage.
Removing his leather gloves, Albanese took a seat in the confessional booth where he skipped over Father Erick’s pleasantries and immediately asked for forgiveness for what he is about to do to his party leader, Bill Shorten.
Rumours state Father Erick pulled back the dividing curtain to look into the Labor MPs eyes in a desperate search for a shred of humanity but was met only by the cold black eyes of a downtrodden man who was willing to dance with the devil to get where he wants.
The confessional is reported to have lasted 55 minutes, before Albo left the booth, adjusting the silk lapels of his Armani double-breasted suit as he does.
Witnesses state Father Erick stayed in the booth and asked a nun if someone would please bring him a glass of water.
Before leaving, witnesses report seeing Albo removing $10,000 from a money clip that he then dumped casually into the donations basket before departing in the backseat of a vintage stretched Rolls Royce.
When asked for comment Father Erick was not able to say what Albo had planned.
“I am bound by a strict oath to never speak a word of what I hear in confession,” said the priest, shaking a little.
“But fuck, I wish I had someone to talk to about what he said. I don’t even know how he entered the church without burning like the sun.”
“Bill, get your passport in order mate! Do not go on that boat!”
