Victorian Election: Matthew Guy Makes It Unequivocally Clear That He Isn’t Merrick Watts
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Victoria’s state opposition leader has today clarified that he is not Merrick Watts, and has vowed to dye his hair blonde within 100...
Adelaide Hipsters Impossible To Tell Apart From Adelaide Non-Hipsters
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A new report commissioned by the CSIRO has today confirmed that it is impossible to tell hipsters in Adelaide apart from their counterparts...
Matthew Guy Caught At Lobster Dinner With Head Of Powerful Apex Gang
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The man bidding to become the next Premier of the southern state of Victoria has been rocked by serious allegations this afternoon.
Matthew Guy,...
Adelaide Still Acting Like ‘Radelaide’ Is A Thing
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Despite decade-long campaigns by Triple J to promote the South Australian capital as a cool and exciting destination for young people, a...
Virginity Expected To Outlast Schoolies Week After Shin-Swingers Make Debut At Beach
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Nigel Griffiths is 18-years-old with the world at his feet.
He's just graduated from high school, he has a good job lined up...
Melbourne Quietly Volunteers To Take The UK’s Spot In The EU Post Brexit Finalisation
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The city of Melbourne has sensationally asked to become a member of the European Union this afternoon.
The Betoota Advocate can exclusively reveal the country's...
Nation Grins As They Prepare To Chuck New Lime Green Share-Bikes Into Closest Body Of Water
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
'Are we really doing this again?' Is what every resident of Australia's major city is thinking after new lime green bikes have started...
Powerade Update Definition Of ‘Athlete’ To Include Excess Consumption Of Alcohol
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
A new ad from Powerade, the non-fizzy soft drink company trying to pass as a sports energy drink, confirms that the brand is...
WA Tourist Treated For Temporary Blindness After Being Overcome By Brightness Of Perth Airport
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An interstate tourist has been hospitalised in Perth this afternoon after an incident of temporary blinding.
The blinding is believed to have been as...
Perth Has Got It’s Own Thing Going On, Says Perth
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Perth is a really unique city and isn't like all the other city's on the east coast, it has been confirmed, by Perth.
The...
