Fuck It I Reckon That Can Wait Till Next Year, Says Nation’s Suits
KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT
In a move described by many as “unnecessary” and “kind of irresponsible”, the Australian Government has today formally acknowledge this week to be...
Local Dad Forced To Drop Son From Backyard Cricket Side Just Days Before Cousins Arrive
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local father of three Chris Richards has had to make the painstaking decision to drop his most timid son, Andrew (14), from...
Rain Delay Forces Local Office Worker To Pass His Time With Paid Employment
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A rather unfortunate series of events has taken place in Betoota's Old City District today.
With his calendar booked out for extremely important...
Woman Adds Finishing Touch To Decor By Leaving Several Half Drunk Glasses Of Water Around House
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
At age thirty-two, Betoota Heights local Lauren Gordon has finally made the plunge to get a studio apartment of her own.
After a decade...
“Don’t Teachers Get Enough Days Off?” Sneers Mosman Young Liberal WFH In Dad’s Investment Pad
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After spending the last decade stoking culture wars as the voice of the working class, both the Liberal Party and Murdoch media are...
Woman Seen Hastily Fleeing Date’s House After Spotting 3 In 1 Shampoo Conditioning Body Wash
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
A local woman has been spotted fleeing from a bloke's house tonight, as concerned onlookers note she looked frazzled and as though she'd...
Influencer Forces Boyfriend To Propose At A Later Date After Being Caught Without Her Nails Done
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
An influencer has today absolutely reamed their idiot boyfriend, for having the audacity to propose when she hadn't had her nails done.
Isabelle Hornick...
Quiet Guy At Work Reveals Himself To Be Type Of Bloke That Calls People ‘Bra’ After A Few
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A reasonably reserved young man at a firm in Betoota's Old City District has shown his true colours today.
Phil Hills had previsouly been...
Inner-City Labor Staffer Forced To Choose Between Winning Government Or Fitzroy Dinner Parties
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In news you probably missed because you are six schooners deep at your work Christmas Party, the Federal Opposition is committing to lowering...
Stone-Broke Uni Student Fishes Around In Handbag Just Long Enough For Date To Offer To Pay
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
A broke uni student has today feigned equality by attempting to look as though she planned to split the bill.
It's alleged Kristie Burton...
