Conflict Definitely Over As Traumatised Gazans Return Home To Rubble With An Average Male Population Of 14 And No Schools Or Libraries
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The world is today rejoicing some welcome good news.
Those in Australia have awoken to imagery of hostages being exchanged by Palestine and...
Treasurer Jim Chalmers Denies Allegations That He’s Being A Massive Drop Nuts Over Super Changes
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Federal Treasurer has today moved to ward off speculation that he's a big old drop nuts, after controversial changes to his 'controversial'...
Mate Who Is Studying Psychology Definitely Psychoanalysing This Friendly Conversation
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIt can be confirmed that your mate who’s studying psychology is almost definitely psychoanalysing everything you say, just as you suspected!
Such is the...
Charlie Curnow Willing To Accept Unpaid 3-Year Internship At Another Club To Get Out Of Carlton
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Things have gone from bad to worse at one of Melbourne's most maligned football clubs this week, as the trade frenzy goes into...
Nation’s Teenagers Prepare For Imminent Social Media Bans By Switching Over To BBM
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn a bid to stay one step ahead of government-imposed social media bans, the nation’s teenagers are reportedly arming themselves with the most powerful...
Report Finds ‘Strong Personality’ Actually Coded Language For Being A ‘Major Fuckwit’
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACTThe Advocate has today confirmed what many have long believed to be true. A report conducted into the nature of coded language has...
Aussie Living Overseas Embarrasses Herself By Throwing In A Hip Hip After Birthday Song
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTAn Aussie living in America for the last two years has once again embarrassed herself by letting out a loud "HIP HIP" after...
Brisbane Dad Drifts Off Thinking About Ben Hunt’s Redemption Arc Again
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A full week since the Brisbane Broncos triumphed against all odds to snatch both the NRL and NRLW premierships, and the Brown Snake...
Guy That Uses A Brick Phone And Rejects Social Media Somehow The Most Informed Person You Know
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA local man, known throughout his entire social circle as the guy that uses a brick phone and refuses to engage in social...
Forget Carlton Draught Tank Beer! Introducing Carlton Matrix Where They Pour Beer Directly Into Your Fucking Brainstem
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The future of beer has arrived, and it's bypassing the liver entirely. In a bold new step for the...
