Sports

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some sad news from across the dutch, our cute but dorky little cousins from the remote island state of New Zealand are having a bit of a rough time. After a few years of benefiting from World Rugby's secret global plan to ensure their dominance, the tiny nation of New Zealand is once again playing like they...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's schoolyard bullies and tattle tales have been issued a firm warning by the real world over the weekend. The ultimatum, delivered by NRL coach Ricky Stuart, is that being a kid is not an excuse to behave like a weak gutted dog. This comest after the Canberra Raiders coach launched into a stunning spray of Penrith Panthers star Jaeman...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A 12-year-old local kelpie-cross has today revealed to The Advocate the toll a tough weekend has taken upon him. Talking to our reporter through Editor at Large Errol Parker's clairvoyant stepdaughter, the dog named Butch explained that he doesn't appreciate being treated like a joke in the nation's media. "I just don't need that shit in my life...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some exciting news for one of the nation's most decorated sports clubs, a huge run at missing out on finals could now be on the cards. After the first win in weeks for the Wests Tigers, the famous merger club from Sydney could receive another massive boost. What comes as a quintessential rugby league story, the Tigers...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT Blake Lamond has this week drawn a line in the sand. The Betoota Mutts Reserve Grader has informed the Advocate today that he will no longer waste his time with 'silly shit.' The 124 game club man, who moved from the centres into the halves into the back row says he refuses to do any form of contact...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT Penrith and NSW's golden child is today dealing with the consqeunces of the nation's unchecked tall poppy syndrome. The halfback is facing a prolonged stint on the sidelines after he took an early guilty plea and accepted a 5-week ban. The ban came after an objectively harmless tackle, where Cleary misjudged his angles a tiny amount before tombstoning...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | CONTACT The Gold Coast Suns have reminded the AFL world of what the underdog shinboner spirit is all about after an astounding come-from-behind victory on the weekend, with only 18 Number 1 Draft Picks left on the field at the last siren. This comes as the Suns sunk the equal last West Coast Eagles in a 107-104 point thriller...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Cronulla Sharks prop Toby Rudolf has today thrown his support behind the introduction of an NRL pride round in the wake of Manly’s rainbow jersey saga, while also opening up on his own sexuality. The Maroubra Bender King has revealed to journalists that he fully supported the move, after NRL boss Peter V’landys alluded to the idea of a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The catastrophic binfire caused by the Manly Sea Eagles media team’s attempt to be the first NRL club to wear a LGBTI rainbow jersey, appears to have simmered down today just in time for kick-off of the clunky first ever Pride Round. This is surprising given the state of media in this country - a limping industry that exists...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A time-rich group of Manly Sea Eagles has today revealed to The Betoota Advocate how they plan to spend their Thursday night. The players who won't be taking the field at 4 Pines Park (formerly known as Lottoland) have explained that they'll have quite a night on their hands. With a night off, the players say they'll be...