Local Bloke Feels Like He’s Discovered A Cheat Code After Going To A German Club For The First Time
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local bloke has found himself asking why the fuck he’d never heard of a German Club before, after having a chicken schnitzel...
Touch Footy Veteran Has Existential Crisis After Being Stepped By Kid That Wasn’t Alive For ’05 Benji
KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTA local man is having a bit of moment this afternoon after realising he’s no longer the young gun touch player...
Div 4 Winger Swan Diving Under The Posts Unaware Oval Is 80% Labrador Shit
KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTA reserve grade winger is expected to be on jumper wash duties this weekend, after his gratuitous attempt at showboating saw...
Cost Of Living Forces Local Banker To Take Kids To Timezone Instead Of Thredbo
KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTIn tragic news for one of Betoota’s high tax bracket battlers, a yearly trip to the Australian snowfields has been called...
Passion Pop Makes Glorious Return As Cost Of Living Forces Millennials Back Onto Teenage Classic
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn an unexpected twist that has left sommeliers weeping, Passion Pop - a drink best known for its extreme carbonation and suspect flavor...
Local Lesbian Has Her Subaru Keys Revoked After Revealing She Doesn’t Know Who Chappell Roan Is
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights woman has this week had her Subaru keys officially revoked, after revealing that she’s never heard of the sensation that...
After 6 Years Of Environmental Vandalism, Drunk People No Longer Find Throwing E-Bikes Into River Funny
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTAfter a solid six-year run of local hoodlums turning rivers and harbours into e-bike graveyards it appears the classic gag is finally coming...
BOM Predict Local Woman’s ClassPass Credits To Be Blown Away By Incoming Polar Blast
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThe Bureau of Meteorology (BOM) has this week predicted that a local woman will yet again fail to use all her Class Pass...
Water Bottles Under Olive Tree A Decent Sign You’re About Eat The Greatest Moussaka Of Your Life
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
In a groundbreaking revelation that has foodies around the world flocking to Australia's light industrial suburbs, a new report indicates that the presence...
‘I Want A Trad Wife’ Says Bloke Who Makes $75k
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke who’s spent too much time going down the Tik Tok rabbit hole has today declared he wants a ‘trad wife’ like...
