Chalmers Resigns After Losing Entire Future Fund On Hawk Tuah Meme Coin
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Treasurer Jim Chalmers has spectacularly resigned this today after losing the entire Future Fund on the Hawk Tuah cryptocurrency...
Gay Friends Enter “Late Night Music Video Viewing” Phase Of The Evening
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTIn what has become a time-honoured tradition, local friends Nick, John, and Shani found themselves deep in the inevitable "late night music...
Meteorologists Confirm That Regardless Of Weather Conditions, The First Saturday Of Summer Is An Absolute Day For It
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | ContactA local expert from Betoota’s Bureau Of Meteorology has today reiterated the fact that the UV index isn’t directly correlated for the ‘Itness’...
Old Workmate Kidding Themselves If They Think You’ll Be Catching Up Before Christmas
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | ContactA local bloke has executed some exceptional forward defense today as he casually blocks the requests from an old workmate to...
Local Cafe Turns $4 Coffee Into $8.50 “Iced Latte” With Magic Handful of Ice Cubes
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | ContactA snotty cafe in the French Quarter has put on a spectacular magic show this morning, transforming their output of very...
‘I Have Such A Girl Crush On Her’ Says Woman Unaware She Has A Bit Of Fruit In Her Salad
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLocal woman Gabrielle Flores today stands accused of being in denial, after announcing she has a ‘bit of a girl crush’ on a...
Local Bloke Wishes He Could Sit In A Dimly Lit Corner Of A Bar Looking All Rugged And Mysterious
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke who’s been feeling pretty disillusioned with his white collar life has found himself fantasising again - this time about being a...
Local Girls Spotify Wrapped Confirms She Is In Fact Like The Other Girls
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACTA self-proclaimed nonconformist has been forced to reevaluate her entire personality today, after her Spotify Wrapped revealed her most-played artists of 2024...
Chalmers Says He Doesn’t Listen To Media Speculation About A Possible Leadership Change
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Treasurer Dr Jimothy Chalmers Esq has hosed down the pathetic and targeted speculation that New Albo is going to...
Hiker Fuming As Salomon Trail Shoes Become Latest Inner-City Fashion Statement
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTIn a twist that has left bushwalkers and brunch-goers at odds, local hiker Tim Reynolds (34) is fuming after discovering that his...
