“They Missed A Piece” Says Man Building Ikea Table Who Trusts Himself Over Unorganised Swedes
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA local man has once again fallen victim to the notoriously disorganised Ikea’s forgetful act of failing to include a vital piece in...
What’s Happened To Our Hospitals?!’ Cries Rich Boomer Who Has A Family Trust For Tax Purposes
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTIn an outburst that has left locals scratching their heads, Betoota Heights resident and self-proclaimed philanthropist Geoffrey Fitzgerald (69) has expressed grave...
Boss Suggests Mindfulness To Recently-Made Redundant Employee
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTIn a move that has shocked no one but insulted everyone, software engineer Mason Lee (36) has reportedly been advised to "practice...
Man Prepares To Enter A Chemist Warehouse The Same Way He Does For A Rave
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTLocal man Troy Leoni (32) has been spotted outside Betoota Heights’ Chemist Warehouse, gearing up for the experience with the intensity of...
Woman Who Doesn’t Like Cats Just Hasn’t Met The Right Cat Yet, Says Friend Who Likes Cats
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACTA local woman is now on a mission to convince her mate that not all cats are equal, after discovering she doesn’t share...
3421 Shits Later, Former Lockdown Hoarded Still Hasn’t Made A Dent On The Stash Of Toilet Paper
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTIn what can only be described as an astounding display of post-pandemic denial, Betoota Heights resident Dave Wilson (38) has revealed that...
‘I Miss Hearing Birds’ Cries NIMBY Who Chopped Down Trees For Blocking Bay Views
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTIn a tale of breathtaking hypocrisy, Betoota Hills resident Stuart Granger (52) has claimed he "misses the birds" after personally overseeing the...
Man On Dating App Just Listing Desired Physical Attributes Like He’s Ordering A Subway Sandwich
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local man today stands accused of being a little bit too specific with his dating profile having filled his ‘about me’ section...
Accused Shooter’s Lawyers Argue We Can’t Convict A Promising Young Man With Such A Bright Future Ahead Of Him
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
A 26-year old Ivy League graduate has been named as the lead suspect of the murder of UnitedHealthcare CEO, Brian Thompson, after an...
Housemate Search Ad Reads More Like A Tinder Profile Than A Room Listing
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTIn a move that’s left Betoota's rental market both bemused and mildly perplexed, local woman Fiona Lee, 28, has posted an ad...
