Local Winger Somehow Manages To Avoid Muddy Remnants Of Cricket Pitch For Entirety Of Match
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A good-looking young man from our town's Betoota Grove locality has been heaped with this praise this weekend after managing an incredible feat...
Single Bridesmaid Hoping For New Profile Picture Teaches The Aunties How To Use Portrait Mode
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A crash course in photography is underway this afternoon, as a local bridesmaid teaches senior members of her family how to...
No Context Blurry Selfie From Mate Suggests The Boy’s Are Getting On It Tonight
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACTA completely out of context selfie from a mate has told a local bloke everything he needs to know about tonight’s plans, before...
Report: Which One Of You Fat Fucks Is Gonna Join Me For A Schooner?
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A recent report from an independent research group has found that this late Autumn sun is fucking glorious and you'd have to have...
Recovering Gambling Addict Gouges Out Eyes In Only Way To Avoid Betting Ads
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | ContactRecovering gambling addict Peter Paskin (34) has finally found a way to avoid betting ads by taking inspiration from ancient Greek theatre and...
Millennial Still Has No Idea How To Get Through Paywall
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact
Local sales representative Alia Barby (29) encountered a rather difficult obstacle today as her online research led her to...
Local Girl Marvels At Her Boyfriend And His Dad’s Ability To Communicate Solely Using Grunts
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAs she awkwardly sits on the couch and watches her boyfriend and his dad interact, local girl Ellen Beeston finds herself witnessing something...
Woman Toys With Idea To Move To An English Countryside Cottage Before Snapping Back To Reality
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAfter yet again escaping reality by watching Pride and Prejudice (not the shit one with the painfully boring Mr Darcy), local woman Rachel...
Partygoer Using Passport As ID Either An Expat Or A Hopeless Drunk
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACTIt’s today been confirmed that anyone spotted handing a passport over to a bouncer on a night out is 95% likely to be...
Local Dad Takes His Role As New Grandfather Seriously And Begins Sneezing At 120 Decibels
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAn exciting new scientific breakthrough has been discovered this week, as biologists reveal that yes, men’s sneezes do get louder as they get...
