Friend In Long Term Relationship Commandeers Bachelorette’s Dating Apps Like She’s Playing Hoe-kémon Go
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA single woman has today had to inform her friend that NO, she does not want her fucking around on her dating apps...
Bloke Ruins Perfectly Nice Dinner With Introverted Girlfriend By Lying To Waiter About Her Birthday
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local bloke has today proved to his girlfriend that having an extroverted partner can be a massive pain in the ass sometimes,...
Local Woman Somehow Still Unable To Get Shit Together Despite Buying A Whiteboard For Her Room
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAfter randomly feeling a burst of inspiration at 11 o'clock at night, local hot mess Georgie Wagner has decided to get her act...
Schooner Glass Edges Closer To Piss-Soaked Trough Wall With Every Slash
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After two and a bit years of hand sanitiser and sit-down-only dining, it seems the regulars at Betoota's Lord Kidman Hotel must be...
Report: Dad’s Slippers Fucken Rank
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAs the freezing weather continues, the nation's dads are at that point of the year where they will do anything except put the...
Australian Retailers Experiencing Extreme Flared Trousers Shortage Two Weeks Out From Splendour
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAs the nation’s favourite music festival looms near, Australian retailers have been forced to declare an emergency shortage of slightly transparent flared trousers...
Share House’s Pitiful Courtyard Now Permanent Storage Place For Rubbish That Can’t Fit In Wheelie Bin
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA five person share house in Betoota Heights has found themselves learning to live with rubbish this week, after yet again failing to...
‘Why Are My Allergies So Bad?’ Asks Woman Who Unleashes This Beast Every Night In Peak Of Winter
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman’s addiction to white noise has made her sick, as she finds herself not only blasting it during winter, but failing...
Hollywood Cashing In On Bad Movies That Inspire Good Memes
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In the aftermath of the spicy cough and the last people who care about the Oscars being ironed-on film students, Hollywood is adopting...
Corporate Fat Cat Offers Gracious Nod As Luncheon Waitress Tongs 2nd Dinner Roll Onto Side Plate
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTOne of Betoota’s leading businessmen is praising the work of a hospitality staff today, quite pleased to be given some extra...
