These 4 Suburbs Just Dropped Out Of The $2m Club But The Residents Are Still Wankers
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
It’s no secret that Betoota Grove, Roma Hills, San Diamantina Rivers and Pidgeon Parksvillecastlespringstonriverstown are some of Betoota’s most expensive suburbs.
Their residents are...
Harsh Email Inspires Local White Boy To Load Up ‘The Eminem Show’ And Thrash The Cable Fly For An Hour
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA public safety alert has been issued for Betoota’s suburbs this afternoon, after reports that a local white boy is getting...
“Nah He’s A Fuckwit” Says Mate Who Once Met An Obscure Celebrity
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTThe spirit of gossip lives strong as local shit talker Marcus McHugh (35) reckons an obscure celebrity he met once is an absolute...
Advice Column | Save Money By Planning Your Spending Around Your Spouse’s Income
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTI work with clients who are in deep financial trouble. Sometimes it’s because they’ve been retrenched or they’ve had...
Heartbreaker Leaves Small Window Of Hope By Blocking Crush On Every Platform Except LinkedIn
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLocal woman Renee Howard is fucking done with her ex.After several months of delaying the inevitable, Renee had come to accept that she...
Bloke Buying Mini Vodka Bottles Either Buying Thoughtless Birthday Present Or Restocking Minibar
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact
Local staff at a Betoota bottle shop served a mysterious customer today who purchased a couple of mini bottles of vodka and nothing...
Local Dad Cements Middle Class Status By Using A Coaster At Home
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTThe sky's the limit for Betoota Heights dad Gerold Gonk (52) who has cemented his status as a middle class man by using...
USB Found On Street Doesn’t Even Provide Clues To An Unsolved Crime
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn a massive loss for anyone who has ever been remotely dramatic, a USB found on the street of Betoota’s Old City District...
Nan Treated For Shock After Seeing Check-Out Chick’s Lower Back Tattoo
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA local nana has been treated for shock today after accidentally copping a glimpse of a check-out chick’s lower back tattoo.While doing her...
Alpha Male Performs Unique Mating Display Of Violently Throwing Bag Of Ice Onto Concrete Floor
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
Local man Eric Matherson is strong.
Strong like ox.
Or at least, that’s the impression a group of women have gathered after he...
