Uninteresting Bloke Feels Himself Losing Crowd Midway Through Explanation Of Bazball
MARIO STRADLATER | Softboi | Contact
After explaining the “game-changing” tactics employed by England’s national Cricket team – Bazball – Dwayne Riley (29) was met with an unanticipated interrogation...
Local Weirdo Arrested For Ordering A Schooner Of Guinness
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A Betoota Plains man has been taken into custody, after a liquor related incident in our town's CBD last night.
Enjoy a somewhat...
Local Girl Hoping For Spunky Electrician Met With Extremely Weathered 65-Year-Old Polishman Instead
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has been left disappointed today, after realising her fantasy of meeting a tradie husband at home was just that -...
Lived Experience Discovered To Be The Only Type Of Experience Humans Can Have
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | ContactResearchers at the Betootian Tertiary Education University of Tautology have discovered a discovery in the early AM hours of this morning.
Lead Researcher, Dr...
Local Woman Begins Spending The $100m Powerball Jackpot In Her Head Seconds After Buying A Singular QuickPick
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
"It's a surprisingly zen activity," she said.
"Deciding which relatives you're going to make a millionaire. I know which ones...
‘Sorry Don’t Have Any Info, Just Go On The Pill’ Says Doctor To Every Woman With A Gynaecological Issue
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has learnt the hard way that there’s really not a lot of research when it comes to gynaecological care, after...
‘Doing It For The Plot!’ Says Woman Planning To Make The Worst Decision Humanly Possible
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights woman has this week adopted the phrase 'doing it for the plot', as a way to get away with making...
Lawyer That’s No Good At Keeping His Clients Out Of Prison Peruses The EOFY Offers At Hush Puppies
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A French Quarter lawyer that has a very competitive hourly rate but is ultimately not very good at shielding...
“If You Know You Know” Posts Local Girl Who Googled Best Cupcakes In New York To Get In The Know
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
In global news, one of Betoota’s most worldly fashion designers has hit the streets of New York this morning to show...
Riverbank Where Everyone Loses their Virginity Under Threat After Council Unveil A Damn “Community Beach”
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTHidden amongst the swaying river red gums that line the Diamantina River, “The Bend” is a popular spot which holds great...
