Local News

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Thick warm glugs of strawberry milk are going down a treat this afternoon as a grade cricketer refuels from an intense session in the nets. Averaging just 14 runs last season, opening batsman for the Betoota Dugongs Stuart Hogg has hit this season's training sessions with added focus, especially after getting out for a golden duck in...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIt is a hard knock life for one unlucky UC copper who has wasted yet another useless night in the clubhouse talking about bloody motorcycles again. Special Officer Flop Limpy (fake name used to protect identity) has successfully infiltrated the Betoota chapter of Craster’s Sons, a Game of Thrones themed 1% bikie gang who started in 2011 when no...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA Betoota family have had their world painted red and meaty this week as a classic mafia movie has caused dad to seriously up his spag bowl game. Known for empowering middle class dads everywhere, mafia movies are known for being classic pieces of cinema, mostly because the aforementioned dads say so and will absolutely lose their shit if...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn the brain-tearing world of the 24 hour news cycle, it is an inevitability that a slow news day will eventually feature a story about an illegal drug being used to treat mental illness. Currently, studies are being done on ketamine to treat depression and LSD to treat PTSD, the latter surely paired due to the fact they are...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA group of office workers have this afternoon been positively titillated by the weather, after their mundane spreadsheet filling was interrupted by a loud thunderstorm! Letting out a collective “OOoooooOOOOH’ as an earsplitting clap of thunder burst through the building, the employees could be seen looking at each other like school kids who’ve just seen their teacher bring out the TV...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA local boomer who often laments that the younger generation "doesn't understand how the world works" recently found himself in a rather embarrassing predicament when he eagerly clicked on a pop-up internet ad that promised a "free iPhone."  Barry Plant (68), often criticizes the younger generation for their laziness, lack of basic life skills, low attention spans, horrible work...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn an ironic twist of fate, the persistent low battery beep of a smoke alarm has become a daily reminder to local woman Linda Thompson (27) that, despite the minor inconvenience, she actually has much bigger problems on her plate than replacing the batteries of her smoke alarm. Like many, Linda has found herself in the classic situation of...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTAs gentrification marches on across Australia's cities, one institution that has held strong against the sweeping changes has finally surrendered. The banh mi shop. Hong Tran Hot Bread has been an institution in the Betoota Flight Path District for over 40 years, serving up Bahn Mi, pastries and bread for extremely low prices, but all that has changed.  Tuân Nguyen(45),...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Last night's Betoota Downs Council meeting went just about as well as anyone would have expected, as the community continues to deal with an increasingly unhinged political landscape. The immediate issues facing the community, namely the dangerous black spots on the local highway and third-world rate of potholes on the suburban streets, were once pushed to the bottom of...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local millennial woman has had her biggest taste of mortality since Bindi Irwin got married, after watching the trailer for ‘The Mean Girls Musical.’ Darcey Vernon, 30, tells The Advocate that she’d initially been very sceptical about the concept, seeing as the original movie aired only twenty years ago, but admits the trailer actually looks quite fun -...