Politics

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT There's some great news for Victorians this afternoon, after Premier Daniel Andrews revealed he is lifting the state's restrictions as we go to print. The great news comes after Andrews was made aware of Scott Morrison's latest round of potshots in the media today. This follows a long campaign by the Prime Minister of taking shots at State...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT While plenty are fretting after hearing the grim economic news this afternoon, the Federal Government has moved to quickly hose down the nation's fears. With the confirmation today that Australia is officially in recession for the first time since Home Alone hit the silver screen, economists, politicians, and actual people who have to feed themselves and their families...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Treasurer Josh Frydenberg has rinsed down the Victorian government this week, as he criticises Premier Daniel Andrews for his handling of the state's coronavirus lockdown. JoFry says that by being unable to outline a pathway out of tough restrictions, Daniel Andrew is failing in his duty as Premier. Melbourne's Stage 4 restrictions are due to end in two weeks, but...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Local man Toby Squires has taken his office cybersecurity measures to the next level this week, with a password so complex that it needs to be written down on a Post-It note which is stuck to the edge of the screen.   “My login password needs to be updated every 6 months, so I tried something a bit more complex...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Medical Experts have today taken a moment to praise Federal Labor Leader Anthony Albanese for his commitment to leading by example when it comes to self-isolating. This follows the leader of the party that that is currently not in government (traditionally called an 'Opposition') making extra sure that he doesn't catch or transmit the deadly virus, by seemingly...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Embattled Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has been hit by another scandal this week, after being linked to the 1989 Exxon Valdez Oil Spill disaster. Andrews has faced intense criticism for his handling of the COVID-19 outbreak such as allowing a BLM march to be held in the city centre, and neglecting to fit the notorious hotel quarantine security...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation's State and Federal Governments have once again been asked to think to consider the human impact of the Covid-19 shutdown today. This comes after our struggling mum and dad operated casinos pleaded with them to think of the little guys and offer up a large stimulus package to keep them posting record profits. "Please, I know...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A fading intellectual who once used to smoke pot and listen to TISM, while discussing a range of alternative economic and political theories with his flatmates in university, has today given up on the concept of political correctness. After several failed publishing deals and a couple of messy divorces, Vernon Bogaine (55) never quite got around to writing that...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT As he pushes a slightly skewed trolley through the fresh produce aisle, Barnaby Joyce finds himself lost in thought. Not because he’d had a particularly stressful day at the office, mind you. No, he just can’t stop wondering how the hell Centrepoint Tamworth got that car inside. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen a show car in a shopping...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Israel Folau has continued working on setting himself up for a life after football by putting another feather in his cap as a potential Sky News After Dark Host. The former Wallaby who said 'hell awaits gay people' has now controversially refused to take a knee in solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement Israel Folau was the only...