Politics

ERROL PARKER | Editor-At-Large | CONTACT The Prime Minister has told media today in Canberra that his close personal friend Brian Houston deserves the presumption of innocence, which in this government means you get a go leading the House of Representatives. "Brian ticks every box" said Scotty. "A natural leader. Someone who is able to keep standing even with all the mud flung at him from...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact After another week from hell, the Prime Minister has been called into an urgent crisis meeting this morning. Our PM's Marketing Team called the damage control conference earlier today, in an effort to try and find a way out of this disaster. "This is not a good look Scotty," said one of Morrison's Marketing advisors. "Being mates with...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT While sitting at the bar of a discreet Canberra dive bar tonight, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing is starting to feel himself sway from the light of God. He never expected to face such temptation when he impulsively threw his hat in the ring for the 2019 Liberal leadership spill. In fact, he never even thought about being...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT PAY UP SCOTTY: The people of Australia have made it clear that they're sick of the talking. Where's the cash Scotty. Pay up bra. This comes as Scotty From Marketing continues to skirt around a new policy that aims to give every Australian a cash incentive for getting jabbed. The Leader of the Opposition, whose name is Anthony Albanese,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The Federal Government has once again shown the nation that they are capable of taking feedback on board. Following long-running allegations of sexual assault, sexual harassment, and the general appalling treatment of women being leveled at the Coalition; powerbrokers have moved to show they are acting on people's concerns by appointing Christian Porter to a coveted parliamentary position....

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has hit out at Labor’s proposal to offer a $300 incentive to those who get fully vaccinated by December 1. The PM has claimed that the plan is an “insult” to Australians, who deserve a much more professional roll-out strategy, after waiting four months for their jabs to arrive from an laboratory in...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "So what ya wanna do...." says Grandpa Kev, as he unfolds the straight razor. "Bung a bit of water on your face. Like so" "Then you grab the can of shaving cream. Give her a little shake. Like so" "Then apply a consistent layer across ya chin, under the nose, and the cheeky" It's really come to this. Grandpa Kev has today realised...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT PRIVILEGED TOOTHLESS BOGANS! The Australian media and political classes are relieved this morning, after the extremely dangerous and unorganised rally in Sydney’s CBD yesterday takes the heat off their friends in the government who have spent months cornering distressed citizens into finding comfort in unhelpful conspiracies. For the last 24 hours social media has been awash with blatant classism...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has today been met with a chorus of support from inner-city Melbourne residents whose entire identities are based around worshipping him and his government. As Greater Sydney marches towards the back end of their fifth week in lock down, the man responsible for last year's second wave that resulted in 7181 of his own...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT COULD YOU COME IN HERE FOR A SEC: Former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has once again spared Scotty From Marketing the humiliation of being exposed as as lazy public servant who spends more time playing with his dick than he spends on the phone to multinational pharmaceutical executives. This isn’t the first time the first time the retired Brisbane...