“I Can’t Miss This, Babe,” Says Sports Fan Tuning Into The Start Of The Sheffield Shield After Watching Football Game He Couldn’t Miss Either
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A marginally-employed young man from our town's Heights district has told The Advocate that he's likely to be crucified...
Bottle Shop Man Looks Blankly At Dishevelled Group Of Uni Students Asking For Some “Double Lemons”
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACTA Betoota Heights bottle shop employee has raised the hairy caterpillars that sit above his eyes today, after fielding a left field question...
Years Of Emotional Trauma Fixed As Robodebt Victim Receives Compensation Payout Of $11
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | ContactAfter years of being illegally hounded by the government to pay back thousands of dollars of debt he never owed in the first...
Budget-Savvy Kmart Shopper Buys The Cheapest Iron Again For The 4th Time This Month
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | ContactA budget-savvy Kmart shopper who knows a bargain when she sees one has managed to pick up an entire steam iron for the...
Man Who Was Booked In For Weekend At In-Laws Comes Down With Mysterious Illness
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACTA Betoota Heights man by the name of Brenton Thomas has this weekend been afflicted by a mystery illness.
The local man who always...
Apprentice Painter Called Outside By The Boss To Have A Gyprocker’s Breathmint And A Chat
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
In one of the many display homes being built in Betoota Heights, inside one of them today an apprentice...
Softcock Buys Electric BBQ
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Betoota Heights man has confused a hotplate for a grill this week after returning from the shops with...
“You Know, I Don’t Mind This New Peter Dutton,” Says Local Couple Immediately After Buying Home
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
After living rent-free with his parents for two years, Bowen Niles and his fiance-of-five-years Heidi Nichols have been able...
How Millennials Are Killing All The Articles Written About Millennials Killing Things By Literally Killing Boomer Journalists
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAfter a solid ten years of journalists constructing wanky thought pieces blaming millennials for killing countless industries, traditions and institutions, the gauntlet has...
Putin Completely Forgiven For Invading Ukraine After Bravely Revealing His Adult ADHD Diagnosis
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Kremlin has confirmed months of speculation that President Vladimir Putin is not well.
In a post shared to the...
