Rex Flight Attendant Asks If Anyone Has A Lighter Because It’s 5 O’Clock And Mummy’s Lungry
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
It's a long way back to Melbourne from our cosmopolitan desert port city and one person who knows that...
Upper, Middle And Lower Class Australia Can Now Be Defined By Whether You Have Kids, Pets Or Plants
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThe Australian Bureau of Statistics has released a new definition of socio economic classes today, confirming what everyone knows already - the state...
“Look At These Fucken-Flyblown-Cunnsathings” Says Grazier Of His Healthy And Well-Fed Sheep
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local grazier has cast his eye over a mob of wethers this morning and seen nothing but past...
Educated Young Worker Uses Their Brain And Gets The Fuck Out Of This Country While They Still Can
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A well-educated young worker from our town's cosmopolitan French Quarter has grown tired of taking part in our society...
Local Dad Knows Nuclear Power Is Safe Because He Routinely Leaves Nuclear Waste In His Laundry Toilet
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Betoota Heights father has told The Advocate he has no qualms with nuclear energy because he knows it's...
Mate Rocks Up Looking Like He’s Off To See The Strokes In 2005
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A rather interesting young bloke who says 'kudos' instead of 'congratulations' has rocked up to the Lord Kidman beer...
Kate Middleton Actually Just At Home In Her Taxpayer-Funded Palace Because She’s A Member Of The Royal Family And Doesn’t Exactly Have To Empty Bedpans For A Living
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some breaking news, The Advocate can reveal that Kate Middleton is, in fact, alive and well, and has actually been at home...
Ford Ranger-Owning Manlet Refuses To Drive Ute More Befitting His Size
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local property developer's offsider has laughed off suggestion he should be behind the wheel of a ute that's...
International Roast Returns To Betoota Advocate Break Room As Meta Tears Up Media Bargaining Code
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The rivers of gold that once flowed from Facebook and Instagram into the newsrooms of The Betoota Advocate thanks...
Twiggy Forrest Buys The Beloved And Iconic Australian Flavoured Condom Brand Ansell
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Celebrity billionaire Andrew 'Twiggy' Forrest has acquired another iconic Australian business this week as he completes the purchase of...
