After a long day at work, Sydney man Luke Marsh wishes he had more to look forward to than his frozen Padt Thai.

The 28-year-old sparkie had never attempted to cook anything harder than a boiled egg and has reportedly relied on frozen meals, takeaway, and the occasional sympathy drop in from his mum as his only source of sustenance.

But now that his work’s shut down and his favourite pubs have temporarily shut up shop, random meals have to do.

Miserably plowing through yet another shit microwaved meal that was both scalding hot on the outside and rock-solid frozen in the middle, Luke just can’t be arsed to pop it in the microwave for the third time.

He attempts to mix the meal altogether in the hopes the hot and cold will level out, but alas, the sludgy mix quickly turns into a game of cold noodle Russian roulette. 

If Luke were a better person, the pandemic would have surely been the kick in the pants he needed to learn some much-needed life skills.

However, the closest he’s ever gotten to watching a cooking channel is marathoning Epic Meal Time with his blazed mates – that, and Cooking with Cannabis.

Spitting out yet another chunk of frozen chicken, Luke reminiscences about how fucking good pub grub is and begins mentally mapping out where he’ll get his first post lockdown parmy.

“Pretty nifty set up hey,” he said motioning to the multiple computer screens he had working on the map.

“Should be able to nail the perfect parmy return by the end of this.”

“Might even do a parmy-crawl,” he laughed.

More to come.


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