WE ARE SO LUCKY! After the most eventful week in politics since the very start of the pandemic, Scott Morrison has today reshuffled his Federal Cabinet – ousting a handful of Ministers for the allies of Barnaby Joyce, the acting PM who ousted Scotty’s deputy without evening talking to him.

The Australian PM is now a week into his Canberra quarantine after a very self-indulgent trip to London that served no purpose other than giving him an opportunity to be photographed alongside Biden and Boris.

Meanwhile, community cases linked to the Bondi cluster continue to each day, forcing state Premiers to reluctantly implement lockdowns, as it becomes clear that the Delta variant has spread across four states while barely 3% of the Australian population are fully vaccinated.

Despite trying her hardest to not call another lockdown, the NSW Premier has had to concede to the restrictons, as she can’t do anything to accelerate the rollout, because they can’t get more supplies from the federal government, because the Prime Minister, a man she is required to publicly support due to party politics, was too busy starting a trade war with China this time last year to secure an order of doses from anyone but the shitty Oxford jab, which took months to get here when he finally inked the deal, forcing him to undermine public trust in it to buy more time with his sensationalised beat ups over the very rare examples of blood clots.

As the UK and US approach nearly 50% vaccination and a flattened curve, some European and Asian countries have even managed to pass the 75% herd immunity threshhold.

However, Scott Morrison says to not get the wrong idea from the photos that are now coming in from overseas that show open economies and roaring tourism.

“Nah, it’s like, it’s still bad over there” said Morrison via zoom from inside his luxury quarantine accomodation in the lodge.

“Remember JobKeeper!? Remember how we eliminated the outbreaks for like 2 months last year?”

“Do not underestimate how good we have it here”

“It’s much worse overseas!”

When asked if he now views the vaccination roll-out as a ‘race’ – Morrison changed the subject to tonight’s State Of Origin match.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here