Proving that the holiday cheer doesn’t always instil a sense of generosity, wet blanket Aunt Bonnie reportedly rocked up to a family Christmas lunch with a bowl of cold pasta salad.

Nestled next to a plate of dad’s famous slow cooked ribs, the pasta were quickly swept aside in favour of nan’s potato bake.

Even Uncle Greg’s Mac n Cheese, a dish consisting of dry penne pasta with just a sprinkle of parmesan, proved to be more popular.

“Does anyone want any of my pasta salad?”

“Plenty to go round.”

“It’s getting cold haha.”

As the family continued to dodge the pasta, Aunt Bonnie began to forcefully lop the mayonnaise heavy slush onto their plates.

“Your plate’s looking a bit bare, Steve”, says Aunt Bonnie, targeting the youngest child, “have some salad.”

“Go on, eat it with your steak.”

Despite Aunt Bonnie’s passive aggressive attempt to get her salad promoted to a side dish, every family member suddenly decreed that they were ‘feeling a little bit full.’

That’s when Aunt Bonnie got the shits.

“Bloody Ben rocks up with some Sakatas and you all eat that!”

“That’s a piss poor effort. At least I made something!”

When one of the kids reaches for a store-bought Lamington mid rant, Bonnie grabs the bowl of offensive gloop and storms off in a huff.

She was later seen throwing the container of salad into the bin, muttering something about it ‘going off.’

More to come.


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