Another day, another head marked for collection when the power grid goes down for good.

A boorish attempt at reviving the era of the pious land barron took place in a French Quarter apartment block earlier this week.

Residents of a top floor apartment on a three story block began a series of loud renovations for no purpose other than to remind their renting neighbours that they own their apartment.

According to the renting underlings of the affected block, the renovations began at 6am Monday morning and will continue until they learn their place as citizens subservient to their home-owning overlords.

“The stick on hooks we’ve put on our wall will probably cost us our bond,” stated renter Clemence Chapel (36).

“Meanwhile, those two upstairs sound like they’re drilling a cage of distressed magpies to the wall and I have no reason to believe that’s not exactly what they’re doing.” 

In an exclusive interview with The Advocate, apartment owner Douglas Merchant (55) stated he has tried many things to assert himself as the big dog of the block but never thought of renovating until recently.

“The government wants to help pay for my renovations while everyone is working from home? How could I refuse?” laughed Merchant as he held a Curly Wurly like a cigar.

“I don’t even need the renovations but it’s good sport. I don’t need to knock down the wall between my room and the spare room, it will be like sharing a room with my wife again and why would I want to do that?”


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