A lonely suburban Maori bloke says he is really starting to miss his cousins, after settling into a boring non-Maori area.

“I don’t even have anyone I can talk about rugby with”

“Like this area is too white for rugby. Can you believe that?” he said.

Dominic Rowe (26) says he longs for the feeling of shaking someones hand at a 40 degree angle, and bringing it in for a light hug.

“It’s so white” he says.

In an attempt to get a bit of spice in his life, Mr Rowe has been colloquially referring to baristas, bar tenders and his own friends as the n-word – a word he feels completely comfortable using as a black man.

However, with mixed ancestry, Dominic realises some people might not immediately identify his ethnic make up – and he has been enjoying testing their political correctness.

Local cafe-dweller Wendy Quilty, says she “just doesn’t..”

“I mean…”

“Can he…”

“Never mind”

According to the white lefties in his new boring white area, Dominic is black enough to get away with doing a high-five and bringing it in, but also white enough to be asked if he enjoys rugby union.

“I don’t really like adhering to their racial stereotypes” he said.

“So, I’ve just been going full bore with the N-bombs,”

“Who’s going to stop me? There’s no other black guys in this area, no ones going to pull me up on the context. I’m just making these hipsters sweat it out.”



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