ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The New South Wales Government has set this horrible plague upon regional areas this week in exchange for their only line of defence from it.

Premier Gladys Berejiklian and the glorified handbag stand that moonlights as the state’s Health Minister told people in the bush that they weren’t as important as Year 12 students in Sydney as they took their Michelle Pfieffer jabs away from them.

“My government feels this is a fair trade,” said Glayds.

“We let the virus spread into the bush and the bush gives us their Michelle Pfieffer jabs. A great trade and it’s great for regional NSW,”

“The spicy cough will do well in the bush because it loves the cold and it loves people who are either too isolated or too broke to go to a hospital or even their local GP. I mean, if regional Australia was such a great place then why does John Barilaro rest his head in Potts Point every night?”

“But look, can I just say that the people of regional NSW have been so brave and I’d just like to thank them for being there to vote for John and keep us in power, even when we set this death cough on you and steal your only defence from it.”

Despite being asked a number of questions, Gladys sheepishly giggled and put her mask back on.

Brad Hazzard then stepped up to the microphone and cleared his throat.

“Well, it’s a marvellous night for a moondance. With the stars up above in your eyes. A fantabulous night to make romance ‘neath the cover of October skies. And all the leaves on the trees are falling to the sound of the breezes that blow. You know I’m trying to please to the calling of your heartstrings that play soft and low. You know the night’s magic seems to whisper and hush. You know the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush,” he said.

“Keep up the good work, stay off the beach and wash your hands.”

More to come.


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