LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

During a routine phone call to government services agency Centrelink, JobSeeker recipient Nick Wahl (27) was relieved to finally hear that his demands had been met.

With JobSeeker and JobKeeper payments cut, Wahl is just one of many who is relieved to hear Centrelink has at least listened to the word of the people and changed their hold music to Brisbane rock band Dune Rats.

Traditionally, the infamous classical Centrelink hold music was inspired by the sounds of drowning in an elevator but without even the promise of death.

“It’s much better to stay on hold listening to this, might go a few beers after hey?” stated Wahl who had previously described Dune Rats bass lines as ‘compost for absolute earworms.’

Popular among triple j listeners and anyone who has ever purchased dad a new length of hose out of guilt, Dune Rats are known for their brand of stoner-rock that comes with the harmless fun of giving a friend the middle finger. 

“It sounds like ‘who has got green?’ Haha, I know what it means.”

Music pundits speculate the choice to switch to Dune Rats was a cathartic one for not just payment recipients but the Centrelink staff who now have call waiting music that tells those on hold ‘everything they say is bullshit’ and ‘they’ll never like them because they’re insane.’

At the time of writing Centrelink has announced those on hold for inquiries about the pension will have the option to listen to The Seekers instead.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here