ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The CEO of Virgin has called for the borders to re-open and society to start living with the spicy cough because it’s starting to affect the bottom line of the business she’s paid millions to look after.

Virgin’s Jayne Hrdlicka explained to reporters in Sydney earlier this week that some people will have to die in order for her to get her way.

“It’s time to sacrifice the poor, disabled and elderly upon the altar of capitalism,” she said.

“I have shareholders to look after.”

The American sighed and took a deep breath.

“I mean, what are we even doing here? Destroying the economy to protect people who are just going to die of something else down the track? If you can’t survive a bout with the Pangolin’s Wrath, you probably wouldn’t be able survive a regular cold,” she said.

“Why are we ruining the livelihoods of millions, billions of people for a weak minority? Ask yourself if it’s worth it,”

“If you’re poor, disabled or elderly, what are you bringing to the table in return for our sacrifice?”


Moments ago, the Prime Minister was asked at a doorstop in Canberra if he agreed with the CEO’s comments.

“Uh,” he said.

“Look, in a roundabout way, I guess but Jesus Christ, that’s pretty blunt. Even by my standards.”

More to come.


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