ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Premier of our state’s south-east corner has praised the people of the south-east corner for showing up to be tested in record numbers yesterday as Queensland records zero new cases of the Sydney Sneeze.

Feeding the chooks this morning, Annastacia Palaszczuk said she wanted to do a special shout out to the 16 people who got tested yesterday.

“This is how we’re going to keep this Berejiklian Bark at bay until we get the vaccination levels up to 100%,” she told some mouth-breathing reporter who stood there holding a recorder with its shoe-laces undone.

“We’re going to keep it under control and out of Queensland with these record testing numbers. While the border security is high, it still won’t stop selfish people sneaking into Queensland while possibly infectious. In the good old days, Joh just would’ve had them tapped on the head and thrown in the cement under Southbank pools,”

“Tell you what, these bloody Lime scooters would’ve killed more people this year than the Sydney Sneeze. You’d never seen such a death trap. I saw this poor bloke go arse over tit near Fridays, his fucken head bounced off the boards like a golf ball on a cart path. Fucken klonk! I can’t stop people from doing that but I can stop them from getting this terrible southern sickness until B1 and B2, Gladys and Scott, all but force us to be coughed on en masse by Sydney people.”

More to come.


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