Are you a wise boomer looking to secure your next holiday home but don’t want to put up with any competition from lesser generations?

Well, I’ve got the perfect strategy to help you clear out the competition and claim your sixth or seventh piece of property paradise.

It’s no secret that millennials have been desperately trying to break into the competitive housing market for years. They’ve read countless articles about saving for a down payment (while sipping on their $6 artisanal coffees), and even tried crowdfunding their way into property ownership. And they’re starting to turn up in ever bigger numbers to auctions, the poor bastards.

Here’s how you get rid of them, say “This will be one of my weekenders,” and watch anyone under 50 sooks off. They know that they can’t compete with someone who already owns multiple properties.

It is well known that these avocado toast eating children are ridiculously sensitive.

That’s why they’ll crumble at your basic challenge. So enjoy the win. Watch as they exchange horrified glances, realising they’re not in the same league as an Australian from the greatest generation who can casually drop the term ‘weekender’ without blinking an eye.

Do they even know what a weekender is? They probably think it’s an AirBnB you’re talking about. These idiots can’t imagine affording even one home, let alone multiple properties.

Your fellow boomers will silently applaud your tactical genius as you swoop in to secure your ‘weekender’ at a reasonable price. It’s a win-win situation: you get your fifth or sixth property, and millennials get a lesson in the harsh realities of the real estate market.

But if you do find one or two young bucks who are up for a challenge – keep dropping hints about your extensive property portfolio. Mention your beachfront residence, your mountain cabin, and your city pied-à-terre. You’ll become the boomer legend who struck fear into the hearts of millennials at every auction within a 50km radius.

So, dear boomer, take a leaf out of the younger generations entrepreneurial playbook and become the ultimate auction disruptor. Declare your property ambitions loudly, and let the younger generation know that you never cared if their dreams of homeownership are out of reach.

Happy bidding!


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