CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Proof that all views from the top of a family tree are rose tinted, local Nana Imna Grange (78) has described her degenerate incel gaming addict of a grandson as ‘good with computers’.
Although she suspects she might still be correct about the internet being a fad, Nana Grange still has technology adjacent requirements as everything is connected to the net these days including her health records, news sources and, for some reason, her new smart kettle.
In order to help her navigate this scary world full of cyberstalkers, hackers and people saying disrespectful things about John Howard, Grange turns to her grandson Tieran (26) who is ‘so good with computers’ as he often finds the power button with just one push.
According to Grange, Tieran’s prowess with our future overlords is due to how he spends ‘so much time surfing on the internets’ [sic] which thankfully is all she knows about her grandson’s personal life.
While Tieran does have some skills when it comes to keyboard shortcuts, most of his computer skills involve setting up burner email addresses to log onto websites where he types unpublishable sentences to his like-minded community of involuntarily celibate neets at an impressive 123 words per minute.
“Finally some good is coming out of those video games,” stated Grange, unaware her grandson describes his own cousins as ‘gigachads’ and refers to himself as a beta subspecies.
“For all his help all he wanted for payment is to set up something called a server in the back shed.”
“Actually, he asked me not to mention that sorry, can you strike that from the record please?”
“He’s just very private and busy, very busy. No time for a girlfriend yet, I told him there’s nothing wrong with organising a date from the internet, as long as you’re safe.”
Fortunately for Grange, she married her sole-provider husband at 18, completed all of the domestic duties while never getting on his back about anything for 60 years, making her Tieran’s ideal woman.
MORE TO COME.
