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Former Parramatta Eels icon Nathan Hindmarsh has today spat the dummy, after being denied a hero’s welcome at his old club.

The 49-year-old former captain was reportedly left feeling humiliated, after making the effort to take off his big-shot-TV-host hat and lend some tips to the young fellas at a Wednesday training run.

This comes ahead of Sunday night’s Battle Of The West, as the Parramatta Eels take on the reigning Premiers from next door in the 2022 NRL Grand Final.

The Penrith Panthers squad has remained unchanged as backrower Viliame Kikau escapes suspension for a spicy shoulder charge against the Rabbitohs. Front rower, Spencer Leniu has also given the all clear to play a week after being visibly concussed by a swinging arm from Taane Milne, despite openly admitting he can’t remember parts of the match last Saturday.

Meanwhile, Eels coach Brad Arthur has boldly mixed it up by dropping utility Bryce Cartwright for Nathan Brown. His son Jakob Arthur remains on the bench, while Bailey Simonsson has kept his spot in the centres

On top of the already rampant localism taking place out west, it may also be the first NRL Grand Final where both coaches have a son on the field at the same time.

Training has reportedly been rather light this week, as both teams study their game plans and relax their nerves with meet and greets from diehard fans and club stalwarts.

However, the presence of these old codgers floating around the club can also be seen as quite a hindrance – especially with the likes of Hindmarsh down at Parra’s training facilities dishing out unwelcome advice.

“So what you wanna do boys…” said Hindy, as the players audibly sighed.

“Is when ya go to tackle em, lift one of their legs up as high as you can in the air and then drill their heads into the ground like a shovel”

The old man continues his dribble as though everyone is still listening.

“Also, when you get a big head knock. Just stand up immediately. If you start wobbling you gotta fight against the inbalance. Just try and look okay or they’ll send you off”

With Brad Arthur discreetly directing the players back to the sheds and the oval gradually thinning out, Hindy figures out what’s going.

“WELL FUCK YOUSE THEN!” shouts, as he grapples with the crushing reality that maybe there’s no place for the old school in a modern game of statistics and level heads.

“AFTER EVERYFING I DONE FOR YOUSE”

“YOU TOO BRAD, FUCK YOU AND YA SON!!!”

At time of press, Parramatta Eels nice guy and current concierge at the Leagues club, Tim Mannah was seen herding Hindy back towards the car park, with promises to let him into the change rooms after the match on Sunday night – if he can just not make this next week about himself.

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