CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A Western Queensland man has suffered a rare form of political amnesia over the weekend, after a simple error at his favourite coffee place in town.
While taking the wife out to brunch after church on Sunday morning, Charleville man Keith Bronson (65) suffered the indignation of drinking a coffee that has slightly more milk in it than his usual order.
After a mental slip from the waiter in the local cafe, Keith was accidentally served a stock standard latte instead of his usual order, the conservative-friendly Flat White.
This mix up was completely lost on the semi-retired hardware retailer at the time, but by Monday morning his friends and family noticed undeniable changes.
According to the Melbourne Italians, who invented it, a flat white is a coffee consisting of espresso with steamed milk that has all of these cute little bubbles that give it a more velvety consistency. While many people compare it to a latte, it does have a slightly higher proportion of coffee to milk, because of how frothy the microfoam is.
This yummy little concoction of patriotic Australian innovation is recognised as the only appropriate choice of coffee for Sky News viewers, and in more conservative regions it is generally ordered as an extra large with two sugars.
While invisible to the untrained eye, the difference between a latte and a flat white is one that divides our nation.
Traditionally, lattes are more popular with detached inner-city lefties who think the Australian economy can be powered by windy afternoons and peace in the Middle East. While the flat white is associated with common sense voters who think poor people stopped existing when they bought their first property in 1987.
As a proud rural conservative, Keith once slid perfectly into the latter. That was before he was brainwashed by the less frothy milk of the latte.
As of yesterday afternoon, Keith Bronson is officially a latte-sipper.
“I’m voting Greens this time around” said said Keith, as he reads the latest Guardian updates on his iPad this morning.
“David Littleproud has completely lost me with his support for the Fossil Fuel industry. Those bastards are destroying our planet!!”
“But oh my goodness, Labor is just as bad as this current mob”
“I cannot believe live cattle exports are still a thing in 2022”
