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After new concerns were voiced by the CFMEU that the long-awaited Adani coal mine is going to be predominantly automated, The Morrison government has today scrambled to deliver the jobs that he had previously promised Queensland leading into the 2019 Federal Election.
The state secretary for the union’s construction and general division, Michael Ravbar, said Queensland risked “being taken for a ride by a shonky multinational with a chequered corporate history”.
In a rare showing of environmentalism, the CFMEU say that they are worried about 12.5 billion litres of water that Adani also plans to extract every year. But were mostly worried about the robots that will be taking all the jobs.
“Our concern is that the promise of jobs and prosperity that was such a touchstone in the federal election is a myth; a fiction designed to hoodwink people into thinking Adani will be a good corporate citizen.”
These concerns have been validated by Adani’s former chief executive, Jeyakumar Janakaraj, who previously said: “We will be utilizing at least 45, 400-tonne driverless trucks. All the vehicles will be capable of automation. When we ramp up the mine, everything will be autonomous from mine to port. In our eyes, this is the mine of the future.”
These revelations spell trouble for Morrison, who’s government have effectively spent 6 months standing up for jobs that were never going to exist in the first place, in a foreign-owned coal mine that will likely avoid paying as much tax as possible, while also destroying the last remnants of the Barrier Reef.
Speaking to the media today, Morrison unveiled a plan to make up for those jobs.
“I’m bringing back the Crushers” said Morrison, in reference to the long-defunct professional Australian rugby league club that barely played 300 games in the late 90s.
“That’s like, at least 15 jobs for aspiring NRL players and about 50 hospitality jobs in the Leagues Club gaming room and kitchen”
“And let’s not forget the groundsmen, and uuhh, groundswomen.”
“Anyone out there who knows how to paint lines and mow lawns, if you wanna have a go, you’ll get a go”
