CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Labor powerbrokers are today calling for all party members to keep their eyes out for the Leader of The Opposition today, after Bill Shorten somehow managed to escape from the broom cupboard at the Melbourne CFMEU offices.
Bradbury was last seen going for a light jog in North Melbourne, sparking fear into the hearts and minds of the shadow cabinet, who are looking forward to a tasty pay-rise in the next couple weeks.
“Oh fuck, here we go” said a distressed but secretly stoked Anthony Albanese MP.
“He’s going to fuck this up. Just watch. I’ll have to wait another 3 three years before the Labor Right faction gifts me another inconsequential cabinet position”
“I mean, I hate to say I told you so, but…”
Albanese paused for a minute, before inevitably blurting out the one thing he’s been asked to not say.
“SHOULDA BEEN ME!!!” he said before having his mouth muffled by members of the ALP media team.
However, with the Coalition’s odds of winning the 2019 Federal Election shortening from $5.00 to $3.50 in the last few days, Bradbury’s few Labor Party allies believe that keeping the leader of the opposition locked away is as important now as it’s ever been.
“Who the fuck was supposed to be watching him!” shouted his furious deputy, Tanya Plibersek MP.
“We’ve discussed this. He’s allowed out for press conferences relating to electric cars, and maybe franking credits. That’s if he’s having a good day”
“This is not how you glide through to gold medal. Keep him the fuck out of the public eye”
“He’s going to end up publicly supporting Adani again!”
