IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports | Contact
Princess Mary Of Denmark has told The Advocate that reporters from both Denmark and here in Australia have asked her where her allegiances were tonight.
Rather than divide the two nations, the Tasmanian has said the greatest victory has already been won.
“It was nice to see the Ansett of Australian telecoms, Optus, get some egg on their face and have to hand the reins back over to the only people on that god-forsaken continent who are fit to broadcast the round ball,”
“I’m talking, of course, about the men, women and non-binary humanoids of the Special Broadcasting Service. Great news,”
“As for the game tonight, I don’t really mind who wins. I’ll be happy either way. I’ve already been up all morning streaming the Launceston dogs. I’m more concerned about my Cats getting up over the filthy Bulldogs. They are yuck.”
Her Royal Highness then asked our reporter to send Ricky Ponting her best before hanging the phone up.
Many of the town’s largely apathetic Danish population have said they agree with their Princess’ sentiments, with some explaining to The Advocate tonight down the Dolphins Leagues Club before the game that they hope everybody has a good time.
Lars Sorensen, manager of the Old City District føtex supermarket, said that while he hopes that Denmark will go on to win the world cup, he will not be throwing rocks at policemen or burning cars if they don’t.
“Not even if they lose tonight,” he said.
“Burning somebody’s car and stoning a plump junior constable almost to death should be reserved for very, very special occasions. However, what Princess Mary said is correct. The biggest villain of this world cup, Optus, has already been vanquished,”
“A big double thumbs up from this Dane. Now I just hope the SBS starts playing the Danish news, even though we can all speak English. But it’s nice to hear our parseltongue pig latin from time to time.”
More to come.
