WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Graduation has just become a little bit harder for graduates of the University Of Western Queensland.
In a real sign of the times, the tertiary education institution in the Betoota Flats has introduced a new policy which requires all graduating students to pass one more test in order to have their degrees finalised.
It is a new requirement which means all aspiring graduates must actually post a photograph of themselves in academic dress holding their certificate in order to complete the long process.
“Graduates must post the photo with a slightly humorous caption on Instagram, and Facebook, if they want us to actually register their qualification,” explained Vice Chancellor Thomas Clark-Crawford.
“They need to post a nonchalant caption as well, indicating that they didn’t even really try, and that the uni is basically handing them out”
If they don’t within a 30 day period, then the certificate that we give them at the overly formal and arduous ceremony is effectively worth no more than paper that you wipe your arse with,” he said.
“Two degrees hotter. Somebody pay my debt…. or Degree ft caffeine addiction are all suitable examples of a caption that graduates could post,” he said.
“Riddled with emojis of course.”
Mikaela Hood who has spent the last 5 years plugging away, working shit jobs, abusing ritalin and never ordering anything not on the specials board at the pub, spoke to our reporters about the new requirement.
“I can’t believe that my degree won’t actually count unless I post about it on my socials. I don’t really see the need to “humble brag” about something which is nigh on a formality for most of the kids in this country,” said Hood.
“It’s bullshit. Plus I can’t fucking think of anything funny that hasn’t already been done.”
