CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Parliament officially resumes today, nearly two months after the 2025 federal election,
There’s been a lot of changes in the political landscape since Australians went to the ballot on May 3, but by far the biggest shift is the installation of the most gender-diverse parliament ever, with a record number of women taking seats in both the lower house and the senate.
At least 69 women will sit in the House of Representatives, including 7 new female MPs from the Brisbane heartlands.
The annihilation of Peter Dutton’s Opposition saw even the Queenslanders jumping ship from the Liberal Party in 2025, with a wave of vibrant Portman’s dresses smashing up the electoral map to take some of the most rusted on Coalition seats in the country.
This new faction of Labor women from suburban Brisbane have been dubbed ‘the Firebirds’ – due to the fact there’s enough of them to field an entire Netball side.
And the Firebirds have not arrived in Canberra quietly.
They enter Parliament House for the first time with a list of non-negotiable demands.
Namely, the menu at Aussies Café needs to be updated, immediately.
With only two Coffee Club franchises in all of metropolitan Canberra, the Firebirds insist that extra large mugachinos with two equals must be made available to them at all times.
Parliament House’s catering team have also been read the riot act. Sushi platters must now accomodate the landlocked Brisbanites by prioritising teriyaki chicken over the pretentiousness of raw fish. All sandwiches and wraps must also include an option without tomato because ‘it’s gross’.
On top of the Queenslander-friendly cafe menu, the organisers of the upcoming Mid-Winter Ball have been ordered to include ‘VCRs’ on the cocktail list. A popular drink in the nightclubs and bars of Fortitude Valley, the iconic VCR is a simple concoction of Vodka, Coke and Raspberry cordial. It is known as an exciting substitute from Bundaberg Rum and Cola, and one that causes far fewer pub brawls.
The Firebirds are also demanding that their Parliamentary colleagues join them for pub choir once a month, and that MPs must be provided with score updates of any Brisbane Broncos and Redcliffe Dolphins matches that take place during late sittings in the lower house.
