CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the culture wars rage across Australian media in the lead up to the Indigenous Voice referendum, there is a panicked tone coming from the No Campaign.
Despite their millions and millions in financial donations from right-wing Evangelical Christian groups in the US, the people behind the No To an Indigenous Voice campaign are struggling to win over younger voters.
It is not clear why Australians under 40 do not share the same grave fears of Aboriginal people achieving equality as the Murdoch media and Peter Dutton’s remaining Liberal MPs.
However, some experts have suggested that even the most deranged right-wing conspiracy about Aboriginal people taking landlords homes from their cold dead hands would actually be a bit of fun compared to the economic opportunities young people currently face in the midst of a Boomer Supremacy.
In fact, a lot young people don’t really give a fuck about the how threatened the conservative political class feel about Aboriginal self-determination, and many will be voting for it out of pure spite.
Polls indicate that the strongest YES voters will be the same exact generations who have had their university fees hiked to discourage critical thinking and humanities subjects, while also being effectively locked out of the housing market, and forcing to pay full price for GP visits as bulk billing options disappear within a health system buckling under the strain of an aging population that gets whatever it wants.
To combat this disgraceful display of civil disobedience from the young people of Australia, the No Campaign has this week rolled out their secret weapon.
Former prime minister John Howard, a man who hasn’t been in the public eye since before Instagram was invented, has officially joined the Murdoch and Liberal elites in their quest to convince young people to help them crush the hopes and dreams of Aboriginal people.
“YOU THERE! YOUNG PERSON” shouted John Howard on Newtown’s King Street today, as he grabbed a Gen-Z voter by the shoulders.
“VOTE NO. THEY NEVER DESERVED AN APOLOGY. THEY HAVE A BLACK ARMBAND VIEW OF HISTORY. WE DID NOTHING WRONG!!!”
The younger voter, who was wearing nappies when John Howard was voted out of power, lets out a blood curdling scream.
“WHO ARE YOU!!!?”
“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME OLD MAN!!!!”
“I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE IN MY LIFE”
