CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After making the most of his first long weekend as an eligible bachelor, Fuckboy ‘Roo’ Murdoch has found himself a victim to the dreaded post-bender scaries.
Various reports are that it has come off the back of a two day bender over ANZAC day with several sources claiming to have seen Roo at the Woollahra Hotel in Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs.
“Yeah, was a bit fucked, got to the Woho after dawn service at Bondi and got on it straight away,” said one local.
“I was at the bar and I looked down and there’s this old bloke asking if he can have some of those Doozy seltzer things.”
“I gave him a little kiss on the top of his bald head and then my mates tell me that it’s that Murdoch fella.”
The rampage continued as Matt Ricketson, a local man, says that he was at the same kick-ons as Murdoch.
“I was sitting out the back, gacked off my face, and I look up and he’s there with his pineapple vape filming snapchats of himself.”
“He was biting down on his lip and asking if anyone had a number.”
“Anyway, we hooked him up on tick for a couple of Blue Punishers.”
Roo’s long time housekeeper, and Octavio Sparrow has offered comment on the fallout from the bender:
“Roo arrived home early on Wednesday morning and we did not see him at all for the rest of the day.”
“This morning he was lying on the couch with an unknown blonde and said that he wanted to watch one of his comfort movies. When I asked which one he said he wanted to watch ‘all three’ and I immediately knew what he meant.
“It is a really good movie. I’d say it’s in my top 5 all time. I hope one day for Roo to let me watch the whole thing.”
“When I came in he was asleep and she was gone so I asked one of the other helpers to carry him to his bed.”
More to come.
