LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

In USA cities such as Minneapolis and New York, some peaceful protests as part of the Black Lives Matter movement have turned to riots and looting in response to the rubber bullet fuelled American-style of crowd control.

These images have not only prompted many to show their support for the movement but have encouraged brave politicians to remind people that stealing is not very nice

“Don’t go stealing from your local communities,” stated Australian Prime Minister Scotty from Marketing, wishing he could simply redraw electorates to drown out minority votes too.

“Some think they can rort the system by helping themselves to a new TV during a protest. As someone with a mortgage, I just think that’s wrong. Stop it.”

Mr Morrison is one of many to comment on how tragic it is that peaceful protests became violent protests instead of becoming large groups of ‘quiet Americans’ that take no issue with anything.

“Never steal from your community. Give to your community. Give them funds to rebuild their footy club using money from taxpayers in a state that was never going to vote for you anyway.”

“Y’all need to remember violence never solved anything,” stated former Alabama governor Orville McBlanketshirt (90) hoping the officers whose promotions he helped secure would accidentally confuse lead bullets for rubber ones. 

“Stealing is a sin but voting is not. So unless you’re one of the third of black men in my state who I stripped of the right to vote, remember to riot with your ballot and not your fists.”

MORE TO COME.


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