WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The world is breathing a huge sigh of relief today, after reports the Chinese military is relinquishing its claim to the South China Sea.
That massive pressure valve release comes after the Chinese President Xi Jinping was shown videos of Australia’s elite Twerk Division doing their thing.
It’s believed that after being shown footage of the dance routine at an Australian naval base, Jinping and China’s feared military have decided to pack up shop and leave the disputed sea to whoever we say it should go to.
The South China Sea is a marginal sea of the Western Pacific Ocean, bounded in the north by the shores of South China, in the west by the Indochinese Peninsula, in the east by the islands of Taiwan and the Philippines, and in the south by Borneo.
It had previously been a geopolitical sore point over the last few years with China staking claims to the region, and countries like the Philippines and Vietnam demanding they back off of territory they already claim.
The growing tensions had lead to many fearing some kind of a flareup that would inevitably lead to us dragging ourselves into the conflict as a result of our nation’s over inflated ego.
However, somehow, the whole issue has no been solved by our government and the Twerk Division Regiment.
It’s believed China is also set to resume all trade with Australia, after cutting off imports to a number of our crucial industries because Scott Morrison tried to posture on the world stage for the sake of our economy.
