ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A first-year politics student at South Betoota Polytechnic College has told The Advocate this afternoon that he’s taking the coronavirus threat ‘very seriously’ and he’s taken steps to prepare himself for the worst.
19-year-old student Samuel Jensen, of Betoota Heights, said he went down to the shops this afternoon to stock up on essentials just in case worse comes to worst and he’s unable to leave the College campus.
“While I originally went down there to get things like freshwater, Mi Goreng, tinned crab meat, deodorant, hair gel and toothpaste,” he said.
“I ended up blowing all my budget on flavoured condoms. All the good flavours were gone by the time I got there and I just kind of panicked. I should be prepared for the ‘back to school party’ at UniBar on Thursday, anyway,”
“But I feel guilty. I spent the last of my Aus Study payment for this fortnight on condoms. Jesus Christ! I’ll have to trade condoms for drinks! God, I’m fucked! Who’d trade an eggplant-flavoured condom for a schooner? Nobody!”
Mr Jensen then asked our reporter to leave his college’s common room and to suppress his name.
More to come.
