ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
US President Donald Trump has declared the US should be “first in AUKUS, first in the submarines, first in the war, and first in the money,” while speaking to waiting media aboard Air Force One.
Trump told the reporters that the Australia-UK-US alliance is “a beautiful deal for America, a very bad deal for the other guys, especially the one with the kangaroo problem.”
“It’s AUKUS, right? That starts with AU. That’s Australia. I don’t like that. They are nice people, but we need to first, always first. It should start with US. USUKAU. Because really, when you look at what they’re getting out of it, it’s more like You Suck Australia. They suck. We don’t suck. We aren’t the ones on our knees begging for a big American submarine. We’re amazing,” he said.
While Trump fumbled through his understanding of the alliance by referring to Prime Minister Anthony Albanese as “Tony my Albanian friend” and mistaking the UK for Germany on three occasions, the media nodded in approval.
Defence analysts say the comments reflect a growing trend in US foreign policy where allies are encouraged to buy very expensive American things and then sit quietly while Washington does whatever it wants. Including not even deliver the things if they don’t feel like it.
Downing Street responded by saying they were happy to follow America’s lead and were also keen to continue being the meat in the AUKUS sandwich.
One senior Canberra insider said the new USUKAU branding felt more honest and that future press conferences would be held with Australian officials in the nude, bound in a sort of Shibari rope kink set up on the ground, with the Americans standing over us.
More to come.
