ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One of the Prime Minister’s key advisors has been asked to wait outside Parliament House’s situation room this afternoon after suggesting thermonuclear weapons should be used to end the ongoing trade war with China.

Scott Cam, who’s thought to be the chief architect of the HomeBuilder Scheme, was thanked for his input during the meeting but was ultimately asked by Josh Frydenberg to just get out.

Australia doesn’t have nuclear weapons, that we know about. When told this, Mr Cam explained that we could get some from America.

“What’s the worst that could happen? We wouldn’t have any Ozito power tools anymore? So what?”

The Prime Minister laughed and nervously buttoned then unbuttoned his jacket.

“Oh Scott, now come on. China buys a lot of our wine, which is basically the Ozito of wine. If you want a glass of Milwaukee level wine, you’ve got to head to France!”

Scott laughed and so did the other one.

“Mate, can you step outside? Look at Josh Frydenberg, he looks like he’s about to explode!”

Josh then got up from the table and told Scott Cam to fuck off out of the room.

“All right! All right! I’ll be down the Kingo grilling my own steak when you nerds have calmed down!”

More to come.

“Hey Scott

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