WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The government has today received a radical new proposal that could shake up childcare, and the nation’s bottom line.
A groundbreaking report from Betoota’s Dewaterhouse MG (a local consulting firm that charges fuck loads of money to provide advice on things) has revealed a rather unexpected solution to the under pressure child care sector.
The new report calls for a minimum of one ethnic grandma on every single street, to help carry the load of the industry.
“The beauty is in its simplicity,” said the author of the report, Coopers McKinsey.
“Rather than put the microscope on the private sector who are banking huge profits at the expense of poorly paid employees and under-serviced resourced centres, we think we can just put a bit of coin into re-distributing the nation’s ethnic grandmas.”
“Nonnas, Yiayias, Babchas, Babushkas, Lao Laos – doesn’t matter to much what ethnicity.”
“But we need one on each street or for every block of flats, just to keep an eye on the little ones while mum and dad go to work.”
“The economy has thrived for a long time of unpaid female labour, and I think we need to stick to what works moving forward.”
His comments come as Anthony Albanese commissions Deloitte (an international consulting firm that charges fuck loads of money to provide advice on things), to write a snazzy report on universal childcare.
The move is part of the long term goal of the Prime Minister to establish universal childcare as his legacy.
He’s yet to comment on the Ethnic Grandma proposal.
More to come.
