JAYDEN JAYNE | World News | CONTACT
America is fucked, it has been confirmed.
These findings were released today after a recent report from literally everyone else in the world who are currently sitting back watching the empire crumble with dropped jaws.
The study has found that not only is America fucked, but they are also unbelievably delusional in the way they pretend they aren’t fucked.
This comes as cities begin burning in response to law enforcement officers killing people needlessly, in a trend that looks like it might be more linked to the race of the victims than the incompetence of the officers.
Over 100,000 US citizens have died in the last three months due to COVID-19 – a highly contagious illness that has seen an outbreak in millions of cases that their politicians have tried to blame on everyone except themselves.
With a health system that can charge up to $500 for a flu shot, and a minimum wage that is well under $10 an hour in some states, the concept of ‘making it America’ seems less and less likely for anyone whose parents weren’t generationally wealthy construction barons in New York City.
As their nation’s entire economy looks likely to collapse for the second time in a decade, the whole world is now sitting back nervously and waiting to see where they will decide to go to war next. The country’s only proven method for recovering from a recession.
At time of press, close to 6 million people had been diagnosed with Coronavirus. Almost 2 million more people than the entire population of New Zealand.
