CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Coastal town surf club legend, Timbo ‘Loudmouth’ Leonard (72) knows he’s not exactly old enough to be panicking about contracting the Coronavirus, but it doesn’t mean this pandemic hasn’t affected his day to day life.
While not exactly keen on the idea of being locked in the house with the dreaded bat flu, he’s also sick and tired of the hysteria.
Especially this bullshit toilet paper roll shortage.
As the Australian media firmly rubbed its crotch with the ball of its hand over the bizarre apocalyptic psychology that has triggered our nation into buying every single square of toilet paper on the shelves, Loudmouth has done his best to got get caught up in the hype.
Instead he’s opted to just stay clenched until he gets to the club each morning – and if nature knocks a couple times in the evenings, he’s prepared to do the old loo-shower fun run.
However, today is one of those days.
The surf club, where he spends 85% of his semi-retirement, is also out of poo tickets, and paper towels, and the Courier Mail. He’s got nothing to work with.
Even the cafe next door has thrown temporary ‘staff only’ signs on both their customer bathrooms.
It’s very possibly for this reason that Loudmouth has spent the last 30 minutes chest deep in the ocean, a good distance from the red and yellow flags.
Several of the other surf club board legends have taken notice of this unusual behaviour.
“Yeah… Loudmouth has never been big on going for a swim” says club treasurer, Kelly.
“He’s either in for a quick dip or he’s surfing for three hours. He never just stands there”
“Hmmmm”
MORE TO COME.
