CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Normal Australians have today urged our Southern cultural elite to please stop fucking around and just behave like grown ups.
This comes as the southern enclave has recorded 17 further cases of coronavirus as two primary schools close in Melbourne’s COVID-19 hotspots.
Premier Daniel Andrews has rolled back the previously loosened restrictions, asking his constituents to please stop having such enormous dinner parties, especially if they know they have been infected with Coronavirus – which actually happened in one circumstance.
This follows reports of Victorians parking their cars and going shopping minutes after visiting COVID-19 testing drive-thrus.
As the state Liberal opposition try their very hardest to blame the Black Lives Matters protests for this community spread, after months of demanding that Andrew re-open the economy and schools prematurely, not one new case has been linked to the socially-distant protests earlier this month.
Premier Andrews said “very deep engagement with multicultural communities” began yesterday to make sure non-English-speaking residents in the COVID-19 hotspots knew the current health advice in their own language, and weren’t just nodding their heads when he told them to, like they do at the Labor branch meetings.
Mr Andrews also said testing may be offered to people without symptoms in the areas with the highest levels of virus transmission, which seems like something they might’ve wanted to do when they realised that they hadn’t contained the spread about a month ago.
While the rest of the nation isn’t exactly laughing at the southerners, the idea of the most morally superior southerners being unable to take directions from experts has resulted in a lot of obnoxious chest-beating up north.
MORE TO COME.
