ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Following Erin Patterson’s conviction for the mushroom-related murders of three family members and the attempted murder of a fourth, major Australian media outlets have entered a period of quiet mourning. Not for the victims but for the sudden end of reliable clickbait and an oddly cosy true crime saga that kept the nation enthralled for over a year.
While the verdict marks the conclusion of a chilling case involving the deliberate poisoning of parents and grandparents, many in the industry admit they’re struggling to fill the vacuum left by what one producer called “the perfect blend of Midsomer Murders and MasterChef.”
“It had it all,” said one Channel 9 boss.
“Beef Wellington. An ex-husband. A shithole in Gippsland. A Tupperware container as evidence. I’ll miss it,”
“Frankly, we rode this thing for twelve months. Murder never felt so wholesome.”
Despite the horrifying facts of the case, three people dead, one hospitalised, and no clear motive beyond vague resentment, coverage often leaned into kitsch narratives of mismatched plates, death cap fungi, and tearful pressers delivered in a cardigan.
At ABC, a senior planning editor admitted there were regrets about how the story was packaged.
“Look, we may have leaned a little too hard into the ‘murder mystery dinner party’ angle,” they said.
“In hindsight, it wasn’t really Cluedo. It was just a woman calmly murdering her in-laws with a gourmet lunch.”
A Sunrise segment titled “No Fun-Gi: Murder In The Mushroom Patch” drew 1.3 million viewers last month, prompting ongoing talks of a spin-off series until the guilty verdict abruptly cut the narrative arc short.
While justice has now been served, insiders say there’s one real tragedy that remains for the nation’s newsrooms.
The story is over.
More to come.
